It was a cold and stormy night, Jimmothy Jones was enjoying a quiet writing session by the fireside… Jimmothy had not a care in the world, he was 27 years young and had just quit his job to become a writer. He was a moderately happy person and was even happier now that his isolated cabin in the woods had been furnished and decorated. Jimmothy had no company in the cabin except for his pet zombie named “Domino”. Jimmothy was just about to finish the 2nd to last chapter in his book when he heard a knock. Who could be at the door? No one knew he was here except for his mother in Memphis, Tennessee. He slowly approached the door and tried to look outside but alas he could not for the cold had frosted the windows. Jimmothy took a chance and opened the door…
“Hello sir! Would you be interested in joining the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints?” screamed the foul beast. The disgusting creature bore the name of Satan also known as a Mormon. “NOOOO!!! I do not! I do not want to join your Satanic cult of devils and demons!!! Now begone from here foul creature!” yelled Jimmothy with all his heart and passion. “Okay well atleast take a pamhlet sir!” shrieked the disgusting heartless messenger of death. “If it is a fight you desire then it is a fight you shall have, you horrible wench!” said Jimmothy.”I don’t want to fight you…. If you wish not to be involved in the Mormon philosophy then I’ll just be on my way.” bellowed the vile beast. “How DARE YOU INSULT MY MOTHER who is from MEMPHIS which is in Tennessee!?!?” said Jimmothy.
This Mormon will not leave without first spilling my blood, I must release Domino!!! thought Jimmothy. He then slammed the door and ran downstairs, after unleashing Domino he stuck the pamphlet under the zombies nose so that he could acquire the Mormons scent. Since Jimmothy was not too bright he did not realize that zombies could not be trained and certainly would not take any commands so, the zombie simply ate Jimmothy. Domino went on to finish Jimmothy’s book and win 500 awards including a Teen Choice Award for best on screen kiss.
The End
The Tale of Jimmothy Jones and THE MORMON! is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License.
Based on a work at iliekstories.wordpress.com.
