The Computer Who Cried Low Disk Space

Once upon a time there was a boy named Krazmawwww with specifically four w’s. He lived in a modest home and had two normal parents with a normal boring marriage. Krazmawwww was brought up on average middle class values. What wasn’t normal however was the family’s enormously shitty computer. This is where the adventure of the computer who cried low disk space begins.

Every day after school Krazmawwww would turn on the computer in the office with a large smile. And with dreams of getting on Facebook and Youtube still fresh in his head he would wait patiently. After 4 hours of waiting for the computer to start-up he nearly had a heart attack when he saw his desktop appear out of the darkness. Never was he so glad to see a picture of a large field of grass. Krazmawwww double-clicked Mozilla and nearly climaxed after seeing the new sxephil video. He almost exploded with joy when he finally knew what all his friends were doing at this very second. Screaming with happiness he thanked the lord for large egos and status updates. UNFORTUNATLEY the computer was NOT so happy with all of this browsing.

“Please!” the popup bubble at the bottom of the screen would say “Please stop downloading and uploading for I have low disk space!” Krazmawwww would not let a stupid plea from the computer stop him from continuing his web exploits. So he closed the bubble and kept browsing. 7 minutes later another bubble appeared. “Disk space is extremely low! Please delete programs/files you may not use! I am in pain!” Ha! Are you suggesting I delete my 100gigs of pornography? Never! And thus the bubble was silenced. Another 7 minutes later the bubble appeared again.

“Windows Minimum Virtual Memory is TOO LOW! I am increasing my virtual paging file so you may not be able to use some programs!” This did not please Krazmawwww, so he STRUCK the computer with all his might and said “That’s what you get! IF you EVER dare limit my computer use I will beat you so hard you will be begging for me to destroy your hard drive!” The bubble disappeared without a sound and Krazmawwww did not hear anymore from the computer for the whole day.

The following day after school Krazmawwww opened the door to his house and found his parents dead on the ground with many bruises. He realized something horrifying; the bruises looked as if they were caused by blunt force trauma from a computer mouse!!! Carefully he walked upstairs to the office and opened the door. By the time Krazmawwww saw the computer monitor from the corner of his eye a mouse cord was already wrapped around his neck. If Krazmawwww had not spent so much time on the computer he might have been able to overpower and overcome the evil machine but he had the strength of a small baby ant. The computer took its time killing Krazmawwww and after the deed had been done, he bought a plane ticket to Silicon Valley and departed.

The police arrived at the scene 3 days later after receiving an anonymous instant message that said “LOL I r teh pro dat triple kill’d the pplz at 992 Quail Drive ROFLCOPTER SOI SOI SOI SOI!!!11!!1”

Next time you think its okay to keep your old and crappy computer instead of getting a new one. Think of Krazmawwww and put the computer out of its misery before things get out of hand…

The End

The Computer Who Cried Low Disk Space is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License.
Based on a work at iliekstories.wordpress.com.