The tale of Bruce Willis and the 8 ethnically diverse prostitutes as well as the unfortunate events that occured after were told to me by Frank the limo driver. All of it is true and not fabricated at all, I will attempt to recreate the exact words he said to me that night when I asked him about the worst person he ever had in his limo.
So I get a call from my supervisor to pick up some movie star from his hotel in the country side. I have no idea who the movie star is until I get there and it turns out, it’s Bruce freaking WILLIS! Now I just love this guy, I watched all his amazing action movies. I thought each and every single one was just a brilliant masterpiece. Anyways, he gets in the limo and I’m obviously very star struck by his presence. I can hardly talk! I’m about to finally say my first words to Mr.Willis when I see 8 other women get into the limo.
I hear Bruce Willis shout from the back as he positions himself in the middle of the group of women. “HEY! What the hell are ya doin waitin around for??? Let’s hit the god damn town already!!! I’M BRUCE WILLIS DAMNIT!”. All I could muster was a measily “Uhmm.. Yes.. Yessir..”. I never knew Bruce Willis was such an arrogant man, little did I know, my superhero image of him would soon be destroyed even more. As the limo got onto the highway toward downtown I hear some moans coming from the back. I dared to look and what did I see? Bruce Willis, pants down, getting pleasured by all of the women! At this point I don’t care how big a movie star he is, no one does that in the back of my limo. So I turn and shout “Excuse me! This limo is not a whore house!”. Bruce stops the girls and looks at me with a rage. He approaches the front of the limo and SLAPS ME! After the shock of what just happened passed, he looked me straight in the eyes and shouts in my face “I AM BRUCE WILLIS!”. He returns to the girls who seem accustomed to these outbursts and I turn back to the steering wheel and gaze off into the distance. I hear him being pleasured again and a small tear rolls down my cheek…
We finally got downtown and Bruce Willis gets out of the car with his 8 ethnically diverse women. Before slamming the limo door he yells “THANKS FOR THE RIDE ASSHOLE!”. What a huge sleaze ball is all I’m thinking. I watch Bruce and the other women walk off into the distance until they are out of view, reflecting upon what just happened. At that point I look back for the first time since I was slapped. What I see horrifies me, Bruce Willis got his spunk EVERYWHERE!!! It was all over the seats and the windows!!!! I thought I’d seen the worst of it until I look at the limo ceiling, written in filth are the words “FUCK YOU! From: Bruce Willis“.
It took me 4 weeks to get the limo clean and I decided from that point on, I would never ever watch another Bruce Willis movie again as long as I live.
A Bruce Willis Story is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License.
Based on a work at iliekstories.wordpress.com.
bruce willis, what a sleaze
what bullshit